Uncultured Swine Presents: The 10 Ugliest Musical Artists

There's a lot of ugly running around outside. One need only stick his or her neck out the window and be repulsed by the low quality of looks running rampant and roughshod over our dear planet. People use celebrities to get away from all this, but unfortunately, sometimes even they cannot save us. Feast, my friends, on the 10 Ugliest Musicians / Singers / Artists/ People...

Kelis

Her milkshake, assuredly, does not bring boys to the yard.

Claudio Sanchez, Coheed and Cambria

Awful music aside, this man's (?) choice of hairstyle leaves you scratching your head. And not in confusion, either. You just get all itchy looking at him.

Clay Aiken

The red-headed stepchild of Martin Short. With baby teeth.

David Crosby

This man has it all: bald on top, pube curtains on the side, a moustache that's definetely full of bologna sandwich crumbs, a penchant for hippie clothing and a body shaped like the liberty bell.

Daron Malakian, System of a Down

Nothing is worse than an ugly singer who can't sing. I mean, really, really REALLY ugly. And really, really, REALLY can't sing.

Joey Ramone, The Ramones

Of course I respect the man. He was a badass. But he had no chin. Just a face that morphed into a neck.

Lemmy, Motorhead

Even if it weren't for the terrifying solar system of warts, or whatever those things are, he'd still make the list. Wonder if he ever worries about one of those fleshy biscuits falling into his stew?

Michael Jackson

You'd really think I'd leave him (?) off the list?

Shane MacGowan, The Pogues
Pasty, paunchy, and perpetually drunk, and with a mouth like somebody stepped on a weak spot and fell through a porch.

Steven Tyler, Aerosmith

Apparently the victim of a catastrophically spectacular mouth-muscle collapse. Like he got drunk one night and tried to stretch his lips around a steering wheel and they never snapped completely back.