System of a Down Hate Mail

I have to admit, I didn't think people read what I have to say, so I was a bit surprised at the overwhelming response to my post yesterday (on the old site) about how much System of a Down sucks. Now, I don't write this stuff just to incite nasty e-mail. I write it to poke gently at the ridiculous seriousness of music fandom and music criticism. The nasty e-mail is just a welcome and hilarious side effect. So without further ado, let's have some fun...

Dear Antonio,
You asshole, you fucking asshoale. System of a Down, SoD, is the shit and u fuckung know it you pinprickshiteatingpandafucker. The muzic is profound, look that one up my ass hole. Steal This Album is by far the best cd of the 2000's, I bet u dont even know that its named for Abie Hofmann's autobiography Steal This Book, u c u do no research, i bet u barely even listen to the shit you review you stinkyovarianoctaroon. Its ppl like u why we have GBUSH and KATRINA and BINLADEN. IF more ppl listned to SoD and paid attention Serj's lyrics (which are all true I read noam chomsky and chomsky says the smae thing) we wouldnt have this shit. Its asshoales like you who turn ppl from the truth when the truth is right b4 there eyes. You spread lies. You fuck its true that GBush sends the poor and not his slutfacedblackfacedcreamyzit daaughters. And Serj is right and Daron CAN CAN CAN SO sing and you know nothing about metamorphic timesignatures and guitar-fuz rhythm textures because SoD piosneered that shit and you dont listen to SoD because youare a ignorant shopaholicwishingcrowbagging-metmusilsuckingsuckfestassclown.
and fuck u i can spell i just dont want to run spellcheck right now so fuck off and die slowly.
Love,-Thomas

Thomas, if you can spell, why would you need to run spell check? People who can spell don't spell things wrong, that's what "knowing how to spell" means. I guess this guy is part of the "internet generation" and thinks that the ability to run a spell check means knowing how to spell. But apparently he's too lazy to run a spell check, so it's a moot point anyway. I'll give him props for calling me an "octoroon" though, even if it's misspelled and contained within an ineffectual compound insult. I've been called a lot of things in my time, but most people don't have the wherewithal to bring antique racial slurs into the mix.


Just because you hate everything doesn't mean you have to hate System of a Down.
-Kyle

Apparently Kyle failed his logic class, or has a different definition of "everything" than I do. Faulty reasoning aside, I don't hate everything, just you and the music you listen to.


what the hell is wrong with you? Instead of just saying that you don't like the music, you have to go and say that the (wondrous) people that listen to their music are retards. STFU man. Their songs really mean something, while you're off listening to a load of crap I'm guessing. Why the hell did you go to all that trouble just to dis SOAD and the fans? In my opinion you are a peadophile who is obsessed with hoovers and has too much time on his hands. YOU SUCK COCK.
-Hamish

This started out as a fairly ordinary flame, but he really got creative at the end. I'm not exactly sure what gave him the impression that I'm a Hoover-obsessed pedophile. Maybe he was reading my article and sort of dozed off in the middle and part of his dream was about me loving little boys and vacuum cleaners. In that case, doesn't that make him the Hoover-obsessed pedophile, since those issues were burning a hole in his subconscious so deep that they manifested themselves in dream? Anyway, I won't dignify this with a response, because I don't talk to pedophiles.

I'm a Fan of System Of A Down , i live in France , i think you're just stupid , you just don't understand what SOAD mean , they do music , no shit , just music , remenber guy System is the best way to peace.kind regards
-Daron

I get kind of happy-sad (like when you see a pretty girl do something clumsy) when I think about these French kids struggling to get their point across in an extremely difficult foreign language. Hang in there, guys!


Hello Mr. Antonio. I would just like to let you know that you are a complete idot and a total asshole. System of a Down is a great band, if not the best, and just because you don't like their music doesn't mean you need to say anything against it. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. But you are a fucking idiot to go online and try to make a point of it. No one is going to actually follow that article. If anything people are just going to love them more, and hate you. So, in my personal opinion, i think you should apologize to the band, and then go and shoot yourself in the head. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,Malakian75

What's with everybody having the right to express their opinion but me? This shit is totally unfair. I try to improve people's lives by helping them rid themselves of terrible music, and I'm labeled an "idot" and an "asshole," and yet this guy advocates suicide and public apology (which is pure un-American cowardice) and he gets off scot-free?

There are more, but this is getting long and tedious. Check back tomorrow.